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Why is the divorce rate so highEquity and currency markets set for a divorce? | ロイター.
Busy lives, financial problems, stress and fights can lead to divorce if the couple was ill-prepared to deal with the realities of life together. If a couple has a realistic view of their relationship and marriage from the beginning, however, divorce is less likely. Money is one of the most common reasons for divorce in the U. Financial insecurity, lack of household stability, resentment and working too much can all contribute to divorce.
Statistics show that money is one of the most frequent reasons behind marital spats and major arguments. Fights over money may have increased in recent decades due to more pressure on a family to earn, gender earning inequality and the economic recession. Research suggests that well-educated couples with financial security are more likely to stay married in the U.
Why Are Divorce Rates High in the US? Posted in Divorce on December 11, Although divorce rates have fallen in the U. Divorce Is More Acceptable In decades past, divorce was not a socially acceptable option. Women Have More Options In the past, it was more difficult for a woman to initiate a divorce due to her dependency on her husband.
Self-Help and the Internet Make Divorce Easier Thanks to the internet, many people can figure out how to file a petition for divorce online, without needing to hire a lawyer or go to court. Unrealistic Marital Expectations Not only is it easier than ever to get a divorce — it is also harder to keep some modern marriages together due to unrealistic expectations of what a marriage should look like. Financial Insecurity Money is one of the most common reasons for divorce in the U.
When people are more interested in giving than in receiving, they will be more blessed and their joy will be greater. When even one person is exhibiting this behavior, it forces the other to reciprocate. But this is not intended to be a marriage manual. The problem with people is that they put a greater emphasis on happiness than in joy.
Ideally marriage is supposed to be about two people serving each other and loving each other as themselves. Some people make excuses for their divorces. They claim incompatibility and irreconcilable differences as reasons. There are even tests to determine whether two people are sexually compatible. Sexually compatible? We live in a society where men are considered sexually compatible with other men, and you mean to tell me that it is possible for a man and an woman to not be sexually compatible?
And people believe this garbage. There is no such thing as an irreconcilable difference. The greatest incompatibility is that between men and women in general, yet God intended it to work. If this difference were a problem, then every marriage would fail. Even as great an incompatibility as that between a believer and an unbeliever, Paul urges Christians to not be the ones to initiate divorce 1 Cor 7.
These are just excuses people make to justify their actions. The real problem is that they are too lazy to work on their relationship. Relationships require work. I have a friend who says that the best way to know if two people are right for each other is for them to live together for a while to see how it works out.
The truth is that if you are waiting for a relationship to just work out, prepare to be disappointed. Look at the world. One failed relationship after another. Murder perhaps, but never divorce. But, one may ask, does that mean that we have to stay with each other even if we are not happy? To that I respond, would you be happy or happier if you got divorced? I say you would be happiest if you found a way to make the marriage work. But when you adopt the approach to marriage, that you would never ever consider divorce a viable option, it forces you into a position where you have to work on your problems in the marriage.
As long as divorce is an option, there exists a breaking point where you would just throw in the towel. When no such breaking point exists, two people are more likely to work on their problems together. True happiness does not come from happy circumstances, but from knowing that no circumstance, happy or unhappy, could topple you. The key to never getting divorced is to never get divorced.
Divorce is not a thief that comes upon you in the night. Forget temporal happiness. Make long term joy your goal. Create the legacy of a marriage that has overcome all that the devil had to throw at it. Make the marriage work AT ALL COSTS. It is God who joined you, you have his backing. This is His will.
My heart bleeds for people who have been divorced. I have friends who have been divorced, and God knows that I cannot even begin to comprehend their pain. However, this article was not intended to be an expression of my compassion. I tried to be as realistic as possible and as blandly honest and true to the facts as I could.
Contrary to what my friend thinks, who claimed that God used his divorce to draw him closer to Himself, God does not need to put asunder what he has joined in order to draw us to himself. God could use the problems in the marriage to draw us closer to himself, and in turn draw spouses closer to each other.
This is my prayer for married people and for those contemplating marriage — that above all they would seek a closer walk with God. They would realize that there is no such thing as a happy marriage in and of itself. And most of all that God would give us resolve beyond our fast food generation, that we would not let anything, great or small, break up our marriages. Are there problems in your marriage? Seek God. Seek counsel. Unfortunately, those best intentions have not transformed into positive results.
I will make the case that the industry has failed because of a lack of quality, quantity, and poor pricing models. Look at the divorce rate chart. Prior to the 's, divorce was extremely rare. It was when no-fault divorce became law throughout the nation that created the huge spike up through At that time, couples didn't have the choices that exist today.
If you wanted marriage help, you saw a counselor or your church pastor. Neither were prepared for the massive influx of customers. Counselors are really good at helping those with personality disorders or have mental health issues.
Counselors treat those clients as "broken" people. A couple seeking marriage help is not broken. The help couples received was less than spectacular.
The massive increase in divorce spurred researchers to start honest study into human relationships. Some of those who are looked upon as true marriage experts started their scientific research during this time. Today, some 35 years after the divorce boom, we know without a doubt what makes a marriage work and what makes a marriage fail. It isn't rocket science. Today, anything anyone wants to know about making marriage work is available through video's, articles, books, courses, etc.
The problem is that there is so much information, how does one know where to begin or what to work on first. Therein lies a key problem with marriage service providers.
In another post I will explain that there are really 4 different kinds of marriage help service providers. You need to be able to determine which is best for your marriage. Too many service providers do not provide the quality of help their clients need.
What do I mean by quality? Chances are, your answer to each of these questions is - take a pill. Instant satisfaction by taking a pill. We are conditioned to demand microwave fast results , even if it doesn't solve our problems! The pills are not solving our issues - they are merely treating the symptoms. In marriage, I call these symptoms "surface issues. These are common issues where we expect microwave fast results. Service providers know this and offer help to satisfy the customer.
The problem is that the real underlying root issues are not being addressed. Results are short term. Marriage help service providers are too often giving short-term "pills" to customers instead of addressing the root issues that provide long-term results.
This is the quality issue. The quantity issue is based on expectations and the cost of services. With a microwave mentality, I've had several couples in need tell me they only want to do coaching for 3 to 5 sessions. This comes after I've told them their issues require between 6 or 12 sessions. Serious issues that have been going on for a long time cannot be solved quickly.
It does take time. Part of the issue is tied to cost. One-on-one service is expensive. If a client cannot afford the number of sessions they need, what is the service provider supposed to do? Education level is associated with earning levels. Up until the popularity of the internet, costly personal service was the only service available.
Now, there are alternatives like eBooks and online courses. What can the industry do to improve the quality, quantity, and price of service? I propose 3 actions. When I say the culture is not marriage friendly, I am referring to the ideas and actions of everyone, not a particular generation. It doesn't matter if you are a boomer, millennial, or generation Z, our culture impacts all of us.
You may see this article as a bit controversial. If so, fine. I hope everyone reads it with an open mind and is willing to consider the content. Our culture includes so much of what we see and hear every day.
It's the arts including painting, music, TV, and movies. It's our online activities. It is our values, customs, and norms. I encourage everyone to take in the culture. Listen to the music. Watch TV and movies.
Participate online. However, as you will soon read, we should not be a sponge soaking it up blindly. We need to enjoy the culture, but filter out that which does not build us up and make us better.
The current culture is positive in many ways. We are seeing how interconnected the whole planet is. Awareness of potential environmental problems drives many to seek out solutions that may one day cleanly power future generations.
We are living at a time when crime is at historic lows, the poor are better off than ever before, and superheroes keep us entertained. However, there is a downside. We treat each other with little respect, emotional reasoning is given more credence than reality, and gender obscurity increases stress and uncertainty for so many.
All 3 of these negatively affect how we treat each other, see one another, and act toward one another. It harms relationships and marriages.
It affects the divorce rate. Let's look at them one by one. Respect is when you show awareness of another, show them honor, and cherish their being. Human nature relies on consistency. We cannot act poorly online and then think we treat our spouse kindly. That's schizophrenic behavior. When we show disrespect to our partner by not listening to them, taking them for granted, hounding them, or not being there for them, we are harming the marriage.
Sadly, it has become a cultural norm to not show respect. Rap music routinely disrespects women. TV shows and movies put down men, making them like fools just to get a laugh. Divorce is talked about as a normal part of life to be expected. We see it. We hear it. We live it.
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